Don't do it....wait, nevermind.

Do you ever do something that you immediately regret right after this action is done? Yeah, that's pretty much my life in nutshell: doing things I shouldn't, but do anyway. I always end up kicking myself in the butt, having less money than I started with or crying at my computer screen. I will just never, ever learn my lesson. Well, maybe someday. Eh, probably not. But, here's to wishful thinking. 

( hello awful photo circa two summers ago! )

I really shouldn't order anything larger than a small when it comes to lattes at Dunkin. I always end up taking a few sips and going to class or heading to work and forgetting that the stupid drink I paid close to four bucks for is now all watered down from melted ice. 

I really shouldn't ever think it's ever a good idea to enter the Target dollar section without spending atleast twenty bucks on stuff that you really didn't need. But I really needed those six packs of thank you cards. 

I really shouldn't enjoy "23" by Miley Cyrus. But, get like me.

I really shouldn't eat anything four hours before eating Chinese food. Whenever I have a craving I always get so excited and think my stomach will be able to clean up the whole plate, but then I end up eating lunch and ruining my race to see the bottom of my sweet and sour chicken plate. 

I really shouldn't watch those stupid wedding viral videos that always have the tag line "get your tissues ready" because I always think that I can handle it, and I end up bawling like a baby. If you don't wanna cry (I'm lying), watch this one; it's the most recent one that had me sobbing. 

I really shouldn't procrastinate. Oh look, a squirrel....

I really shouldn't kid myself into thinking that I am actually going to make anything that is on my food board on Pinterest. Ain't nobody got time for that...unless it's a two ingredient cookie recipe, then I am all over that like white on rice. Goodbye Friday night with friends, hello oven!

I really shouldn't think that my post ideas are cute and clever, cause they really aren't. Oh, who am I kidding, I am flippin' brilliant. *insert hair flip*

I am going to try and not do anything that seems like a bad idea.

Ha, now that seems like a bad idea in itself. 

Everybody's got a dark side.

For those of you that know me, or have read my previous blogs, you know that I was a proud and in-your-face blondie. I always proclaimed that Taylor Swift and I were twinnies - I mean, we even started the bangs and straight hair kick at the same time, holla! But...something has happened.

Yes. I must confess. This proud as a peacock blondie has now turned to the dark side.

As you may have seen in previous blog posts, I am no longer my old blonde self. I am a new and improved brunette who is ready to take on the world with a new edge. But, let me tell you, it wasn't easy to part with my long, golden locks. I took great pride in my lion mane, and people knew me by my blonde hair. I had a co-worker say to me "Uh, ya know, most brown hair girls try to go blonde, not the other way around, Mariss." Needless to say I walked away from that conversation. It took lots of thought and I finally took the plunge into the shampoo sink and washed away all the hair dye and saw a new me in the mirror afterwards. I am not the person I used to be; literally and figuratively. 

With all the change going on, I have been seeing a darker side to myself, or should I say a more real side of myself. I always usually put on a happy-go-lucky front and I honestly lived up to the blonde expectation. I was perky, peppy, ditzy and all other adjectives in the list, but I felt like something was missing. I was always worried that if people saw me in anything less than a great mood they would bother me with questions. Yet, I was pushed - against my will, and as a blonde - into situations filled with questions that I didn't want to answer and through the questions and the struggle I was going through, I find a more real side to myself, that I was okay to share with the world. I am no longer afraid of the questions and the pestering; I am going to be what I am that day. Hello, my name is tired, angry, upset, happy, excited, miserable, etc... I found my darker side, my more gritty and real side, and I am becoming more and more okay with that. 

My life has been in a crazy roller coaster of change and new things that I decided that changing my hair was the drastic change I needed in order for me to accept all the other changes what were going on in my life. Finally the whirlwind is starting to calm down and life is getting slowly (really slowly), but surely, easier. I have my good days and I have my bad days, just like everyone else. Some days I feel like I am still a blondie, and other days I feel like a brooding brunette. I change on a daily basis, and I think that that's okay. Life is a day by day, minute by minute kind of thing. Life is up, down, in, out and all things in between but that's what make life...life.