Friday, October 18, 2013

Men are the new women.

After lots of research - and by research I mean lots of conversations with my girlfriends about how idiotic men are - I have come to the pain staking conclusion that men are actually females. Now, I know what you are thinking: what is this little brunette girl talking about. Yes, I shall explain.

I know a lot of guys and I talk with them, listen in to what they say to other men, observe their behavior and I have just come to find that men are becoming more like the stereotype that they give to women. Hear me out for a few hot minutes, por favore. 

Women, we are really not that hard to understand. We don't ask for a whole lot - unless you are one of those needy Twitter Anons who tweets all these unusual expectations that women put on men. Women are extremely easy creatures. Hand us a box of macaroni and cheese, buy us an iced coffee,  maybe watch some TV with us and throw in a few compliments and boom, we are happy campers. - Women aren't that hard to understand. We like Starbucks, compliments, cuddling, naps, Disney movies, yoga pants, wine, bubble baths, gi

But, in all seriousness: we are fairly easy people.

Men, on the other hand seem to be more needy than women; which is frightening to think about. Men are extremely complicated to understand, at least in my opinion. Let's say that you like a guy and are nice to them, talk to them, whatever - he will not want anything to do you. Nada. Nothing. Nope. You're done. But, the split second you show no interest in them, they are all over you, like, me on a Dunkin Donuts when they have 99 cent iced lattes. It's bizarre.

Men needs loads of attention. They may not seem like they need it, but they want any attention they can possibly find. God forbid you are talking to someone else and they are standing infront of you (or near you, for that matter) they will just have to butt in and greet you, or just butt into your conversation in general. Yes, hello male specimen, we know you are there, but you don't need to assert your manliness into our conversation when we didn't invite you. Hashtag no.

Men want to feel macho and in control, of anything. But, we all know that women have a motive and a drive for everything. Men may think that they are the ones in control of everything but women, really have got all the power. (insert maniacal laughter here)

But, with all that being said - men acting more needy and emotional than women is a crazy phenomenon, but it is new and fresh, and who knows, maybe men will start opening up doors and buying flowers again. Yes, they exist, I have just yet to come across one of those special breeds

Cheers to you, from me, a bitter single girl who sits alone at night and watches House.

1 comment:

  1. That song is wicked catchy. Also, men ARE like women. I'm enjoying the bitter single girl corner right along with ya, lady.